Sunday, November 3, 2013

the quest for understanding, or, you want me to eat what?

so what is paleo? you probably all know by now. it's super faddy and everyone is doing it. paleo, or "the caveman diet", or "you can't have cheese?! hell no!" But if you aren't quite in the know ( I certainly wasn't) I thought I would give you a little overview.
Paleo is basically eating whole, "clean" foods. This mean protein, fruits and veggies. No grains, no sugars, no processed foods, no dairy (well some dairy, but restricted, I shall explain later) no legumes, that's right, no damn beans, or chickpeas or peanuts. It's probably easier to say what you can eat then what you can't.
You can have red meat (most preferably, grass fed), poultry (the disgusting free range kind), fish (wild caught of course), pork (although some will argue that this is hard to digest because it is too close to our own human digestive gross), and eggs. I have been lucky enough to find a good source of grass fed beef, and nitrite and nitrate free bacon and sausages, huzzah!
you can have almost all real, true veggies, not legumes though, no beans or peas. and no corn, oh my goodness don't eat the corn! I don't want to get all Monsanto is the devil up in here.
and you can have fruit...if you are going for weight loss though it's best to watch your intake on this. Just like you can have potatoes, in moderation, but since I am unpleasantly plump, I avoid them like the potato plague.
And healthy fats, boy do they love their healthy fats. Coconut oil. Seriously. Invest in this shit. The paleo world in neck deep in it. Then of course there is ghee, clarified butter, olive oil, walnut oil, almond oil. None of that vegetable oil, canola, grapeseed, safflower, lard, none of it.
Of course things are most strict on the challenge where they want you to go hard core paleo for 30 days. After that things go a little more 50 shades of grey and you will find yourself making out with a gallon of raw milk if you can get your hands on it.
I feel like I could be missing quite a bit, but that is the gist.
Yes, I knew these rules and I still signed up. I have to carry around a little book and write down everything I eat and subtract points for everything silly modern man would eat. I am stupidly honest too, so with only 7 days left, I most likely won't win the challenge, but I will have won something much more important, and that is my battle of the bulge!

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